CASTING CALLS.. BOTTOMLESS WAITRESS NEEDED ASAP!$300.00 (So you need an actress or waitress or model...oh both..wait huh)

C&J ENTERTAINMENT IS LOOK FOR THICK OR BOTTOM HEAVY FEMALES... WE COMPENSATE YOU $300.00 FOR YOUR TIME. AUDITIONS ARE HELD IN THE BRONX.
PLEASE BRING A THONG/BOOTY SHORTS/AND SHEER TIGHTS OR STOCKINGS...... PLEASE SEND A PICS, A NUMBER, ALONG WITH YOUR DESCRIPTION PLEASE...... THIS I S NOT A 1 TIME GIG, THIS IS A THURSDAY TO SUNDAY NITE GIG FROM 7PM TO 11PM.

Compensation: $300.00
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Matt is confused as you might be too: So bottomless makes me think of some kind of all you can eat buffet or something that has no bottom when all you want is a nice, thick bottom...a big back as sir mix a lot would say or rap. Now if I'm not being silly - I could also take it to mean you want waitresses that won't be wearing bottoms or any underwear yet it seems like they will at least be in a thong which is something...

$300 to be a waitress in a thong for 4 hours isn't bad but I don't think it sounds like a lot when there are fully clothed waiters making that much or more...bartenders too ...and they are allowed to wear all their clothes..
Sounds like a safe, fun work environment -- but the math is nice overall..

$300 = 4 hours sans pants
$1200 = 16 hour workweek in a thong
$4800 = 1 month or 16 nights -- so 64 hours which is about 1.5 regular work week spread out in that time

With 2 weeks of vacation due to holidays and sickness, etc -- $60,000 a year to work 16 hours a week doesn't sound so bad ...but it'll be freezing cold in the winter...hope there are heaters! Happy 2011!


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Looking for Sketch Artist (Shady or Funny or... oh you mean DRAW?!)

I want to give my girlfriend a nude sketch of myself as a gag-gift and need a sketch artist who doesn't mind working with a nude model.

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Matt noticed something: Your girlfriend might very well gag as most of us might... oh you meant gag as in a prank as in something funny.. not like puke, barf, throw up.. Strange that keeps happening with your post..
Seems like a lot of time,( hopefully) a decent amount of money (for the person who has to sit there and draw you) to give your girlfriend something I'm guessing (see not assuming because you know why) she has seen before once, twice or a million times in real life. So maybe you get a laugh, an eyeroll or possibly risk making her think about this funny and/or disgusting portrait every single time she actually sees you in the barf...err buff -- risky!

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METHOD ACTOR SEEKING PART - once in a lifetime talent (Who needs De Niro or Pacino right?!)

Classically trained thespian seeking role of a man who sleeps on his parents couch and eats nothing but microwavable popcorn and ice cream. I have thoroughly researched this role for the past 6 months. Guaranteed award worthy performance.

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Matt thinks: You're awesome - no sarcasm...as a fellow actor -- love it! Break a leg getting that role...

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LIRR worker, 730 train to Babylon, with a beard - w4m - 23

I'm assuming you'll never see this but anyway, I was on my way home from work and got on the 730 train to Babylon and sat in the last car. You work for the LIRR and got off at Jamaica and we couldn't stop looking at Each other. You have a beard, you're very handsome. I'm blonde, was listening to my iPod.
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Matt wants you to speak UP: There's a chance you can take the 730 for a week or longer and sit in the same car to see if you bump into him but check for the wedding ring and then talk to him. Start casual or not but go for it. Chances of him checking Craigslist and finding your post is less likely than the real life bumping into. Also if we couldn't stop looking at each other means he saw you looking then cool....but men need very blunt signs like staring from women with smiles and/or a wave or tap on shoulder or sit next to us or something...especially on a train at the end of the day coming home from work...I'm just saying 23 yr old blonde with an ipod - maybe listen to more gwen stefani?!